Anger, even when justified and understandable, ultimately only serves to harm you by clouding your thinking, wearing you down mentally, physically and emotionally if you hold on it and do not let it pass constructively.
Of course, you know this, which is why you’re looking for ways to deal with it.
There are really two types of anger: hot and cold. Hot anger fills you with energy and can be outwardly very destructive. Cold anger often turns inward and leaves you feeling bitter, helpless and depressed.
Both types are destructive and must be dealt with in a positive manner before they do lasting harm.
As you sit with your anger, begin to deepen your breathing by counting to five as you draw air into your stomach, hold for five, release for five and hold empty for five. Doing this will relax your nervous system.
Continuing your breathing, you may find it helpful to imagine the anger as a color racing through your body. It’s easy to think of red in your blood cells that goes everywhere, but you may find that your anger is not red, but a sick green, chartreuse, black or other odd color.
Whatever it is, wherever it goes, as you breathe, begin to imagine you have filters or a rubber balloon that is catching all the anger as it cycles through your body and mind. Envision it going through your mind, your spine, your muscles and getting collected into the large filter or balloon.
The balloon will expand as it fills with your anger and may start to feel too heavy and large to keep inside yourself. At that point, you can simply push the balloon out of your body and into the space in front of you.
Now your breathe will continue to fill the balloon with any anger still left and you can see and feel it exiting your body through your nose and mouth.
Once you have collected all the anger in your body into the balloon, it will being to rise away from you. You can watch it as it goes up through the roof and into the atmosphere and out into space where it will no longer disturb you.
After You Let Go
Anger is generative, so there will likely be more made, but this technique is surprisingly effective and the more you use it, the less anger you will find.
Because anger is such a strong emotion, you may find it difficult to sit still at first. If this is the case, you may find it helpful to engage in some strenuous physical activity before trying to visualize and disperse your anger.
Running, jumping, dancing to loud, fast music, even screaming at the top of your lungs (as long as no one can hear you) can be highly effective ways of releasing the initial overflow of powerful energy that anger brings with it.
Depending on the situation, you may find you can channel your angry energy towards some constructive end. House cleaning, washing your car, shoveling snow or yard work are all good methods to focus and burn angry energy towards positive outcomes.
Remember: Anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intent to throw it at someone else. You always end up getting burned.