If you haven’t done this yet, please take a few minutes to complete the MOSAIC Threat Assessment
YES! Emotional and verbal abuse and threats ABSOLUTELY count as abuse – please contact the hotline below, which is staffed 24/7 with trained counselors who can help you figure out what to do and where to get help in your area. The Feminist Majority Foundation has compiled a helpful list of national and state organizations that may be useful.
This site was created by Randi Kreger, the author of the Stop Walking on Eggshells books, and it includes several Yahoo! groups for support.
If you have a smart phone, you have access to your own free voice recorder and some good personal safety apps. This page gives a brief rundown on five options for both iPhone and Android users:
There are a lot of self-help and psychology books on the market, but they only make it to my recommended reading list under the following circumstances:
- I’ve read the book myself and gained some insight
- It’s been recommended to me personally by someone I know and trust
WARNING: As a reminder, you should NEVER share your insight on Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder with the DP.
Many people have learned the hard way to hide their books because once the DP knows you’re on to them in this way, they will inevitably turn it against you and use it in their crazy-making. If you have your own private, locked Kindle Reader or Amazon account, electronic copies may be the safest way to go.
If you don’t have a private Amazon account, then a hard bound book that you can hide may be better.
Clicking the links will take you to the Amazon purchase page for that book and if you buy it, I’ll get a small affiliate fee at no additional cost to you. Any money I make goes toward the cost of maintaining and building this site.
These are the books that jump started my journey to understanding.
For when you’re just not sure what a personality disorder is, or what to do about it
This is really the book that started it all for me. If you’re unsure exactly what verbal – which is also known as emotional – abuse actually is, this little book lays it out and tells you why it’s really not okay. Though I don’t get upset when someone tells me to “have a nice day” I am more aware of the subtle and overt ways that language is used to control thanks to Evans. This book is a must.
This is book I wish that I’d had early on in my journey to understand what was happening in my world. Unfortunately, I didn’t find it until much later.
Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Here’s another I found too late. Luckily, I didn’t need it, but I have known scores of people who’ve benefitted from it. Read this book and give it to your attorney to read before you file for divorce and you may find your way though the legal maze a little quicker.
This is one of the best books on Borderline Personality Disorder available. Combine it with the workbook for a wealth of tools and techniques to try. Think you’re dealing with a Narcissist? There’s often a lot of overlap between the two disorders and you may find some improvement, no matter what the diagnosis.
This workbook can be used alone or along with the Stop Walking on Eggshells book above. Again, don’t share these books with your disordered person. Ever.
Ways to take care of yourself no matter where you are in your journey
This is a remarkable book that provides scientifically supported techniques to help you deal with trauma.
Like Redirect above, Feeling Good provides straightforward techniques to help you get better. These are based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques as well as others – and they really work.
Once you’ve gotten some distance, you need to spend some time figuring out how to grow from your experience and ensure they never happen again. These books can help.
I’ve listened to this as an audio book three times, and it’s long, but I get more out of every encounter. Moffitt is wise and gentle in his guidance. You will learn so much from this book.
Brown is the first academic to study the human emotion of shame: where it comes from, how to handle it, why we have it and how to move past it.
This is Brown’s second book. Possibly better than the first one.
You may think, like I did, that a little white lie helps keep the world going around. Sam Harris disagrees, and after reading this short, easy book, I have come to realize that lying may be the single most destructive behavior humans can engage in.